Verse and Worse

Excerpt: ...the tact of a Vandal, Whatever society paper they write in, Can always provide what their readers delight in. An article, vulgarly written, which deals With the food that celebrities eat at their meals To the popular intellect always appeals. Pg 121 People laugh themselves hoarse At the latest divorce, While a peer's breach of promise is comic, of course; How eager each face is, As ev'ry one races To read the details of the Cruelty cases! And a magistrate's pun Is considered good fun, And arouses the bench of reporters from torpor, When it's at the expense of some broken-down pauper! So Anthony pondered the different ways Of attaining and gaining the popular praise; And selected a score of his brightest essays, Just enough for a book, Which he hopefully took To some publishers, thinking perhaps they would look At what might (as he couldn't help modestly hinting) Repay the expense and the trouble of printing. Pg 122 Now the publishers all were extremely polite, And encouraging quite, For they saw he could write; But the answer they gave him was always the same. 'You are not,' so they said, 'in the least bit to blame, And your style is so good, Be it well understood, We'd be happy to publish your work if we could; But alas! All the people who know are agreed This is not what the Public demands, or would read. 'It is over the head Of the people,' they said. 'If you'd only write down to the popular level!' (Once more, he replied, they could go to the devil!) The result to our author was not unexpected, And, as on his failures he sadly reflected, He took out his pen and a nib he selected, Then wrote (and his verses Were studded with curses) This poem, the Lay of the Author (Rejected). Pg 123 The rejected Author's cup Comes from out a bitter bin, Constable won't 'take him up,' Chambers will not 'take him in.' Publishers, when interviewed, Each alas! in turn looks Black; De la Rue is De-la-rude, Nutt is far too hard to crack. Author, humble as a vassal...