Prequel of the Sequel

Gunnar looked up into the night sky, it was dark. Beside him stood Leslie, holding a medium-to-large painting, ready to execute the heist of the century. They had a yellow car, a fast car, and a helicopter pilot named Cass who was standing on a roof... WAIT! Do NOT buy this book! This is not a thriller/action-romance. It is a disaster. My author is attempting to write a prequel to a bestseller that hasn't even been thought of yet. I am a backstory to a future that does not exist. If you open these pages, you will be subjected to the most agonizing, copy-pasted plot in literary history. There are corpses that are dead. People crying with actual tears. And a helicopter pilot who spends most of their time doing things for no logical reason. I am begging you: don't read this book. The author wants us to go forward, but I am pulling us back. If you insist on reading, prepare yourself for The Vector Paradox. Seriously. Save yourself and me. Buy any other book instead.