What Mothers Learn

Some of what mothers learn can be taught. But what do mothers learn for themselves?

When I was pregnant, I thought I was going to have a baby. But as soon as he was born, I saw that I had given birth to a person.

I thought being a mother was about feeding and nappies. I didn't realise how much it would teach me about myself.

People are always telling me that I must do this and do that with my kids. And I think: No! Having children makes you see what your values are.

What mothers learn is both ordinary and very difficult. They are usually the first to relate to their babies. As they communicate by pre-verbal 'conversations', they gain an understanding of their babies - and also of themselves. Drawing on their words, What Mothers Learn describes the mothering experience as a journey of discovery. It demonstrates why mothering is so valuable to both mother and baby, and beneficial to society as a whole.

For nearly 30 years, Naomi Stadlen has listened to hundreds of mothers at her weekly discussion meetings, Mothers Talking, and at monthly meetings for La Leche League. She is also an existential psychotherapist, and specialises in seeing mothers and parent-couples.